I wish I could write

Sometimes I'm a selfish fake.
You're always a true friend.
And I don't deserve you cause
I'm not there for you
please forgive me again
I want to be there for you...
someone you can come to...
runs deeper then my bones
I want to be there for you...
Swirling shades of blue
Slow dancing in your eyes...
The sun kisses the earth
and I hush my urge to cry.
Cry...
I want to be there for you...
someone you can come to...
runs deeper then my bones
I want to be there for you...
Cause I hear the whispered words,
In your masterpiece, beautiful...
You speak the unspeakable through...
I love you too.
I want to be there for you...
Someone you can come to...
I want to be there for you...
And be.. someone you can come to...
The love - It runs deeper than my bones...

What the....

The kid is still asleep and its 8:40, since when does this happen. LOL and I was wide awake since 6. The Birthday party went good. Grandma hated every minute of it, well almost. She just misses grandpa (Jareds family grandparents) he passed away 8 years ago (I think) So she doesnt like to do her birthday or Christmas. There where about 25 of us there. And it was so funny to watch everyone stand in the kitchen to eat cake, because food isnt aloud in the living room. Was tooooooooooooooo funny. But good cake!!!
So normally I am very confident and secure, but for some reason the past few weeks that isnt the case. Bugs me. Not sure what it is but I will figure it out. Usually do. Just in denial I bet. Well have a good day.
~nm

Irratability

Dont know what the deal is today. But I am on edge. At times its really hard to control my temper. I try to remember all the things I learned in therapy to control it and what not. But sometimes its just not enough. Chipped my tooth today. Kinda sucks. I shall remember not to grit my teeth that hard. Whew. Doing better now. Music really helps me to release a lot of stuff. So today I am just listening to some aggressive music. Then probably tonight some classical. Usually how it goes for me.

So much drama going on with the family too. Cant I have a break. My mom and I sheesh. It amazes me how many selfish people there are in my family. I wonder if its hereditary (side note, ignore any spelling errors, to lazy to double check. And not sure if I will use the spell check hehe) Going to post one of my favorite pictures, and someday figure out to add my friends on this thing. I will have to ask SS again.

Whew I almost forgot.

I almost forgot my info for this blog. But I remembered finally. These past few weeks have been ok. Nothing like good ol' family drama around the holidays to make you feel joy and happiness. the snow storm last week, was awesome. Got Cam a really cool snow suit and hat and gloves. There she is all cute.

ciao