I wish I could write

Sometimes I'm a selfish fake.
You're always a true friend.
And I don't deserve you cause
I'm not there for you
please forgive me again
I want to be there for you...
someone you can come to...
runs deeper then my bones
I want to be there for you...
Swirling shades of blue
Slow dancing in your eyes...
The sun kisses the earth
and I hush my urge to cry.
Cry...
I want to be there for you...
someone you can come to...
runs deeper then my bones
I want to be there for you...
Cause I hear the whispered words,
In your masterpiece, beautiful...
You speak the unspeakable through...
I love you too.
I want to be there for you...
Someone you can come to...
I want to be there for you...
And be.. someone you can come to...
The love - It runs deeper than my bones...

What the....

The kid is still asleep and its 8:40, since when does this happen. LOL and I was wide awake since 6. The Birthday party went good. Grandma hated every minute of it, well almost. She just misses grandpa (Jareds family grandparents) he passed away 8 years ago (I think) So she doesnt like to do her birthday or Christmas. There where about 25 of us there. And it was so funny to watch everyone stand in the kitchen to eat cake, because food isnt aloud in the living room. Was tooooooooooooooo funny. But good cake!!!
So normally I am very confident and secure, but for some reason the past few weeks that isnt the case. Bugs me. Not sure what it is but I will figure it out. Usually do. Just in denial I bet. Well have a good day.
~nm

Irratability

Dont know what the deal is today. But I am on edge. At times its really hard to control my temper. I try to remember all the things I learned in therapy to control it and what not. But sometimes its just not enough. Chipped my tooth today. Kinda sucks. I shall remember not to grit my teeth that hard. Whew. Doing better now. Music really helps me to release a lot of stuff. So today I am just listening to some aggressive music. Then probably tonight some classical. Usually how it goes for me.

So much drama going on with the family too. Cant I have a break. My mom and I sheesh. It amazes me how many selfish people there are in my family. I wonder if its hereditary (side note, ignore any spelling errors, to lazy to double check. And not sure if I will use the spell check hehe) Going to post one of my favorite pictures, and someday figure out to add my friends on this thing. I will have to ask SS again.

Whew I almost forgot.

I almost forgot my info for this blog. But I remembered finally. These past few weeks have been ok. Nothing like good ol' family drama around the holidays to make you feel joy and happiness. the snow storm last week, was awesome. Got Cam a really cool snow suit and hat and gloves. There she is all cute.

ciao

Busy Day

Yesterday was Cam's bday. It went well. She was so excited all day long. The party was at 6. So around 5 she was crying that nobody had come over for her birthday. But I had to tell her they where coming later. So as usual, my family is always very punctual, early even. And my grandma who is the most incapacitated arrived first. Then my mom and dad then my brother. 20 minutes later, the others showed up. Cam had fun playing with all her cousins. And got a doll. As you can see in the picture, she was just so worn out. Fell asleep with her "baby lela"

And now today we have tons to do too. In a few moments going to take the dog to get fixed. Then go get stuff for the bathroom and other things.

Shopping....

Went shopping with my mom lastnight. I dont care to stand around when shes picking out cloths. Mostly because we dont agree on what looks best. I try and not let her by grandma kinda stuff. But sometimes it cant be helped. So I went and looking at bedding. Got some new sheets and a new super soft blanket for the bed. Its sage in color. Kinda the color I want to paint some room in the house.



<----This little attitude girl might not be getting a birthday next week. Shes just so joyfully full of attitude :p anyhow. I dont think she knows how serious I am. Or maybe she does, and thats why she keeps driving me crazy!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh

Anyhow. Guy coming over to finalize stuff for the bathroom!!! It might get fixed after all :)

Just a short first post

Today is a good day =) going to clean out the shed....lots O fun.